How to: Bounce Back After a Breakup

Kaira Traver is our online contributing writer and here are some tips she has on How to Bounce Back After a Breakup.

So you’ve been dumped or maybe for some of you, you’re the dumpee. Either way, you’re fresh out of a relationship. Ending a relationship can be one of the hardest times for some women. You’re filled with emotions, questions and sometimes remorse. But ladies, although it may feel like it, it’s not the end of the world.

So what do you do now? As for everything else, different things will work for different people but everyone could use a little help now and then. Here are some do’s and don’ts to help you get over your newly single slum.

1-   DON’T keep it bottled up – Cry, scream, get angry, and just get it out. One of the worst things you can do when a relationship ends is to keep all those emotions inside. If you’re like most women, you’re going to be hurt and then it’s pretty much inevitable where you’ll eventually get pissed. Just don’t hold it in.

2-   DO delete – Delete his number.  Delete his texts. Delete his e-mails and do something that I like to call, “Facebook cleansing for the heart”. Delete him as your friend. Let’s be honest, you’re going to look and see what he’s up to, any chance you get. How are you supposed to heal and move on if you’re constantly checking up on him and looking at his wall to see who he’s talking to? Do yourself a favor and just cut him out of your life completely until you’re over him. If you ever decide you want to try a friendship later down the road, make sure you’re ready and that you can honestly handle being just friends.

3-   DON’T rethink your decision – When we’re left to our emotions, it’s easy to spend a lot of time thinking. For some, they focus on all of the positive things about an ex or the relationship and don’t really think about what they should be… the bad things. Obviously the bad things are why the relationship didn’t work out in the first place, right? Think about all the problems your relationship had and remember that if it didn’t work out it’s probably for the best.

4-   DO hang out with the girls - Being in a relationship probably means that you haven’t spent as much time with your closest friends and family as much as you wanted to. This is the perfect time to have a family dinner or round up the girls for a ladies night. If you’re feeling like a Sex and the City night out on the town with the girls, drinking cosmos, go for it; or better yet, a quiet night in with wine, so you can catch up on what’s going on in each other’s lives. Talk to them. They’re there for you. That’s what friends are for.

5-   DO find inspiration – It may seem silly, but finding something that inspires you can really help you bounce back from a bad break-up. Finding things you can relate to emotionally can help you a great deal. You can do this by listening to music, reading a book or even daily inspirational quotes. A free, easy way that you can find inspiration is by following inspirational quote accounts on twitter. They update their accounts daily to constantly shed some positive light on your days.

6-   DON’T sulk – We’ve all been there. All you want to do is sit in your room alone, watching slasher films with the only two men that matter at the moment, Ben & Jerry. But the best way to get out of your head is be active. Your emotions can take a toll on your body. Sulking can make you sad, tired and lazy. When you’re active, it releases endorphins and it can improve your mood. In order for you to feel better, your body has to feel better. So get off the couch and get active!

7-   DO try something you’ve always wanted to do – Getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new can be scary and exciting. But it can also keep you busy and keep your mind off of the break-up. Join a club, go rock climbing, train for a marathon or anything else that you have a passion for. You never know you could end up with a new hobby and meet some new and interesting people.

8-   DO make a change – If you’re brave enough, do something drastic. Dye your hair or give it a new do. Reinventing yourself is one of the most fun ways to shake off the old and move on with the new. If drastic isn’t for you, maybe try a new wardrobe. Try something that will make you feel sexy and good about you. If you look good, chances are you’ll feel good too. Are you on a tight budget? You can search online on great ways to make stylish new outfits out of items you can find in your very own closet. Get crafty and be creative!

9-   DON’T lose your faith in other people – Just because one person let you down does not mean that everyone will. I’m not going to lie, there is a possibility that you may go through another break up. But eventually you will find the perfect person and someday you’ll look back and realize that everything you went through got you to where you are today. All you can do is remember that there is a good and a bad side to everyone.

1-   DO get back out there – Once you’ve dealt with the emotions, have plenty of “you” time and when you think that you’re ready to get back on the dating scene, do it. Take what you learned from your past relationship and allow it to help you grow in a new one. Who knows, this next guy could be “the one”.